What phrases discourage children and what parents should say instead

Many common parental phrases can inadvertently make children feel helpless and insecure. UAportal has prepared a guide on how to communicate with your children.

Encouraging independence and confidence

One of the common phrases parents use to make children feel helpless is "let me do it for you." This can unintentionally send the message to the child that they are not capable of doing something on their own. Instead, parents should encourage children to complete tasks on their own.

Another harmful phrase is "you're too young to understand." This can dismiss a child's feelings, making them feel inferior. Instead, acknowledge the child's point of view and explain things in a way that is appropriate for their age and understanding. Also, saying to the child "you are just like your father or mother" can limit your child's sense of identity. Parents should encourage their children to explore their unique traits and abilities rather than compare them to others.

Developing problem-solving skills

When parents constantly tell their children "I'll take care of it," it can hinder their ability to solve problems on their own. Instead, they should guide their children through the problem-solving process by asking open-ended questions to stimulate their critical thinking.

Another problematic phrase is "because I said so." This phrase is often used without a thorough explanation, which suppresses children's curiosity and desire to understand what the rules are based on. Instead, you should explain the reason, setting clear boundaries.

In addition, saying "you will never learn" can undermine a child's self-confidence. Instead, parents should reassure them that learning takes practice and that making mistakes is an integral part of growth.

Promoting a positive self-image

Phrases like "stop crying, there's nothing to be upset about" can devalue a child's emotions. Instead, parents should soothe and support their child's feelings by helping them understand and manage their emotions. Another phrase that raises concerns is "you are perfect just the way you are," as it can create unrealistic expectations and fear of failure. Parents should encourage their children to accept their imperfections and learn from their mistakes.

Finally, saying "I'm disappointed in you" can make a child feel valued only for his or her achievements. Instead, parents should express their criticism of the child's actions while reaffirming their unconditional love and support.

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