10 tips to become confident in yourself

Self-confidence is based on self-esteem. It begins to form in childhood, when a child does not yet know what he or she is and relies on what adults say about him or her. If your parents often told you that you were a good child, you had a high chance of growing up to be a confident person. Many adults tend to criticize, so children grow up insecure.

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Then you were evaluated by more and more people: classmates, friends, teachers. At a more conscious age, you were more attentive to these evaluations and decided which ones were worth accepting and which ones were not. Based on what you accepted and what your parents laid down, you have an idea of yourself.

If self-esteem is low, it means that the foundation is shaky and the person feels insecure.

People with low self-esteem are deprived of many joys in life.

For example, they work at a job they don't like, earn less than they would like, and have difficulties in relationships with the opposite sex.

When a person believes in himself, it is easier to realize his desires. He or she becomes interesting to others, finds it easy to meet people, make friends, speak in public, and succeed in his or her career. A self-confident person lives a rich, interesting life. Anyone who sincerely wants to become one can.

10 ways to become confident

To understand how to become self-confident and improve your self-esteem, you need to observe those who have already developed these qualities. Such people have certain beliefs and behaviors that, if you know and use, can help you develop self-confidence. Below are the techniques used by self-confident people.

1. Allow yourself to doubt. Doubt is a normal reaction of the psyche to any endeavor. Usually, the brain is in the "we are well fed here" mode and does not understand the eternal aspirations of the restless self. It is not normal when you go deep into doubt and think a lot about all the misfortunes that can happen. Reality is unpredictable. What you imagine may or may not happen. When you were a child, you were learning to walk. You took one step and immediately fell. Maybe your parents even laughed at you. Whether this first failure and your parents' reaction to your desire to learn to walk prevented you from doing so, you went on to your goal and succeeded.
2. Know your strengths. A person who is confident in their skills has had them confirmed more than once. He has heard others praise and recognize that he is doing his job well. At times of difficulty, he recalls previous positive experiences and builds on them. To understand your strengths, you need to do an exercise. Write down all your achievements on paper, starting with the smallest ones. Read this list every day for thirty days. Through this action, you will see that you have something to respect.
3. Do not listen to those who do not believe in you and your ideas. When you present your ideas, there will be those who say you have no chance. Such a person will give you a dozen examples and arguments why you will not succeed. Some of these arguments will seem rational to you, and your doubts will stir again. Then ask yourself: why is he trying so hard to dissuade me? Of course, maybe he just wishes you well. But if he is unsuccessful himself and not entirely satisfied with life, he probably doesn't want you to surpass him. Take advice from people who have achieved more than you.
4. React calmly when people say no. Insecure people are afraid of rejection because they associate it with themselves. He thinks that he received a "no" because he was not liked or not that good. More often than not, rejection has nothing to do with you personally, the problem is in circumstances you don't know about. The fear of rejection is well developed in salespeople and sales managers. If you find it difficult to deal with rejection, try your hand at sales or talk to people you know who work in this field.
5. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Confident people understand that everyone has the right to make mistakes. They know that nothing is perfect and no one is perfect, and so they calmly continue to work to get at least one step closer to this ideal.
6. Don't compare yourself to others. It's unlikely that a goose thinks that a duck is beautiful and that he falls short. No, he is a goose and he is comfortable in his goose skin. It is the same with people: you are good in your role, and someone else is good in theirs. Confidence is built on acceptance of one's personality with all its flaws and strengths. Acceptance does not mean that you can relax and not work on yourself. You need to develop your talents and eliminate your shortcomings, but do it calmly and methodically.
7. Concentrate on the other person. When you're too busy thinking about what people will think of you, whether you look good, whether the person you're talking to likes you, you start to fake it. Shift the focus of attention from yourself to the other person. This will relieve tension and put the other person in the mood for a pleasant conversation. People like to talk about themselves. Remember to smile and be friendly - it will make you look more confident.
8. Do not be shy. Practice your speech. Make sure that the pace of your speech is not too slow or too fast. Both give off uncertainty and anxiety. Speak clearly and avoid parasitic words. Also, confident people rarely use the following words: "it seems to me", "most likely", "I don't know for sure", "I can't say for sure". Look the other person in the eye. Don't do it continuously and intently, just maintain eye contact. If it's difficult at first, look them in one eye. They won't notice, and you won't feel uncomfortable.
9. Project confidence. If this quality is still lacking, play the part of a confident person. Watch your posture, straighten your shoulders and keep your eyes on the floor. Pay attention to your posture - avoid crossed arms and legs. Remember that too fussy gestures, tapping your fingers, twitching your leg - all this can give away uncertainty and anxiety.
10. Get to know people. The more social contacts you have, the higher your self-esteem. Of course, it is not easy to make contact when you feel insecure. But this is a barrier that needs to be overcome, otherwise there is a risk of staying in a vicious circle. Go to events, sign up for courses that interest you. These can be language lessons or professional development trainings. Perhaps some new direction for you: another profession, theater or dance. This way you have a double benefit: you learn a skill that will help you feel more confident and you get new acquaintances.

What can stop you from being confident?

There are people who think that nothing can be changed. If they have been shy and insecure since childhood, they will live their lives that way. This is a big misconception. Each of us has the will to make ourselves and our lives better. If you have a desire, it means that you should overcome your fears to achieve it.

Try to think less about what other people think of you. To be confident, you need to understand that most people are focused on themselves. They don't sit with calculators, counting your mistakes, or spend sleepless nights thinking about your voice and facial expressions. If someone does make a joke about you, it's more likely to be in order to assert themselves. Therefore, you should not focus too much on other people's opinions. Enjoy the process of developing yourself, and confidence will come as a bonus.

"Physical beauty is beautiful but ephemeral. The self-confidence that comes with achieving your goals is the most beautiful thing in the world." Madonna