How to recognize the signs of a person raised in a dysfunctional family and overcome the effects of trauma
Parents are the most precious people for us. However, not all families are happy, and some children grow up in a toxic environment that can have a negative impact on their lives.
It is important to remember that you are not alone. Many people grew up in toxic families, but that doesn't mean you can't be happy. Seek help and you can change your life for the better. How do you know if you grew up in a toxic family? Patriots of Ukraine writes.
1. You are uncomfortable remembering your childhood:
- Memories of your childhood do not make you happy, but irritation, anxiety, anger, fear, or a sense of injustice.
- You think that other children were more fortunate, and you are glad to have grown up.
- You may not even remember your early years, because your psyche has pushed out unpleasant experiences.
2. You behave inappropriately in conflicts:
- You can either make any concessions to avoid a quarrel or react violently to any word you don't like.
- It is difficult for you to find a middle ground because you are used to extremes.
3. You are too self-critical:
- You don't know your strengths, you don't know how to accept praise, and you always find flaws in yourself.
- You are very hard on yourself, and this can harm your life.
4. You think that you have to "earn" love:
- You are used to bending to other people's desires to gain their acceptance.
- You feel like love is a scarce commodity that you have to earn.
- This can lead you to devalue yourself and your needs.
5. You make excuses for your parents' shortcomings:
- It is difficult for you to admit that your parents were not perfect and that they did not always love and care for you.
- You look for excuses for their behavior, even if it is cruel or unfair.
6. You are in a codependent relationship:
- It is difficult for you to imagine your life without a relationship where you are either the rescuer or the victim.
- You cannot be happy in such a relationship because it destroys your personality.
What to do if you grew up in a toxic family?
1. Rethink your relationship with your parents: Understand what messages you learned as a child and how they affect your life.
2. Learn not to respond to provocations: Remember that your parents are not aggressors, but victims of their own problems.
3. Seek help from a psychologist: A psychologist will help you rebuild your self-esteem, learn how to build healthy relationships, and love yourself.
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